Windswept Bouffant. Hairdresser tale.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have noticed this week I’ve been moaning mentioning that it’s been a bit windy here lately and the effect it has on my hair. Take a look at the palm tree below. The night before it was looking just as battered. My hair’s been’s just as windswept, but looking better than I stepped out the hairdressers Wednesday. It’s been quite a week. Monday, a guy at the gym couldn’t believe the suspension trainer was mine. I’m not sure whether he couldn’t believe I bring my own and that it wasn’t the gyms or that a girl was using it. What century is he still in? The gym only has one suspension trainer and I’m not waiting in line. Tuesday, I  snagged a client (yay! Finally!). Wednesday if I have a choice of going to the hairdressers or getting my hands slapped by the dermatologist, I’ll pick the dermatologist. Some girls love going to the hairdressers. I dread it. I never know how it’ll look stepping out. I thought hairstylists, hairdressers were meant to make you look like million bucks when you step out.

Any one can see my hair is low maintenance. It’s fine, but I like a little volume. No lions manes. A little umph, shiny, slight beach hair. When they ask me how I’d like it dried, I reply natural please, it’s fine so any style will fall out in 2 hours (as in, listen, my hair doesn’t hold style, so please don’t bother with anything fancy), I cycle too so any style will fall out. Natural as I’m learning has many looks. I’ve been fortunate the last 2 times, a girl with long fine hair has cut it, so she understands fine hair. She’s also the girl who told me about cutting hair on a new moon or waxing moon will make it grow longer. I’ve wanted long hair for as long as I can remember so I’ll try anything! As soon as it gets long, I’ve left it too long between cuts, spilt ends set in, layers look false, they have to cut off more than I like. I now get it trimmed every 6/7 weeks to avoid this. She’s also the girl who recommended that growing fine hair, have it all one length, not layered as it can look like extensions from the back as the style grows out. I’d noticed this and was never sure how to approach it when it wasn’t time for a cut. When she first cut my hair, she pointed this out, I was okay, lets go with one length. 2 cuts later, she leaves on sick leave for a number of undisclosed months. NOOOO ( I wish her a speedy recovery!)! Whyyyy?!

This week’s the Spring Equinox. An ideal time for cutting hair for lengthening. I book up to be told she’s away for a few months. It’s only been 4 weeks since my last trim, but I really want long hair, so what’s there to loose seeing if a waxing moon at powerful lunar time might make it grow faster. Farmers have used the moon’s cycle for years with crops. The owner who used to cut my hair before I moved and came back cut it. I thought he could see that it was all one length and just stopped him in time putting layers in. My mistake, I didn’t make it clear I didn’t want layers. With hairdressers you have to be very specific if you know how you’d like it cut. As they’re short staffed, he moves onto the next client, a junior dries my hair.

‘How would you like your hair dried?’

‘Erm, natural’ (no por favour as that’s not how it works here.)

‘Curls or wavy’ ‘Wavy please’. Thinking she’ll just dry it with hairdryer, adding a few curls as it’s naturally slightly wavy which is how I walked in. It might have been windswept however.

‘Tongs or brush’ ‘Brush!’ (bad experiences after tongs. I don’t suit poker straight hair and they poker straight if they could. I’m like, seriously! It makes my face longer than it is.)

She then really goes to town, curling it. I’m beginning to get worried, and say oh, I air dry my hair, I add a little curl with pins while it’s drying for a little volume, thinking she’ll release low key. Ah, yes, that works. Then I add, it’s so fine it doesn’t hold style. Yes, because it’s fine. We start the usual conversation about learning English, having time to, no time to (when people find out you’re British, here it’s the norm to talk about learning English. Especially if they find out or remember you taught English. It can get repetitive. Just saying’). I just see excuses. I use excuses, but I see they’re excuses. Now I’m getting worried. WFT is happening to my hair. She finishes, there, you like it?

Err. No. It looked like Hilary Clinton’s when it’s like when you scoop the front back then bouffant it a bit. With double volume, no shine, looking dry. I looked like a lion and 10 years older. Jokingly, I said, I look 10 years older! I was feeling a little exertive that day. The lady next to me sniggers. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but I’m probably only 6 years older than her. Do I really look that older? Ok, no worries, she says, as she pats it down to one volume bouffant. I’m thinking, you’ve seen how I dress, you know I said don’t do poker straight hair, I’m like who’s this girl in the mirror, it’s not me and you give me this. I know she was doing what she thought would work, or maybe she was getting back at me for the English joke earlier. She mentioned she doesn’t speak English, then proceeds to sing along perfectly to an English song playing in the background. I joke the best I can in Spanish, you don’t speak English and you’re singing along to one! Irony lost, as I had to explain the joke. I then get the history of learning English. Maybe it was revenge styling.

Taken 30 seconds after leaving the hairdressers. I’d flattened it a bit. I’ll point out I really don’t like selfies or close up photos. I get that from my Dad and Grandma! The hairdressers is a funny place for feelings. They’re the professionals, so we shouldn’t speak up. They know what they’re doing. But we have to live and work with their work. Usually I smile, say thank you, try not to touch it to insult their work and as soon as I’m outside, flatten it, twist it and last resort pony tail.

I’ve never done this before. I asked for serum smoothed it down and flattered it, so it was 0.1 bouffant. I felt awful, but I wasn’t walking out with hair like that. As it had been blow dried, it ended up volumised straight 30 minutes later after flattering it. I forgot to take my hair serum to calm it down after the cut. Lip balm didn’t work taming fly aways or the double volume C front feathering. I tried loose plaiting the front, to take it down a notch. I gave up. Not even side sweeping it all to one side worked. Maybe it was karma for me saying I didn’t like it. Maybe it was Karma cycling back really made it look like lions mane dragged backwards through a bush.

Hair is such a personal thing. It’s our identity, our personality. Messing with our identity and personality messes with us. A bad hair day can make us feel at odds. A bad cut can have us in tears. A good hair day makes us feel like we can take on the world. So why is it we’re quiet at the hairdressers and don’t say anything?!

The day after cut. Back to normal. Do you like getting going to the hairdressers? How do you deal with a bad cut or style? Do you speak up, or cry later? I remember a bad cut a Vidal Sassion London training school. I cried all evening and it took months to grow out. I did stand my ground when the supervisor wanted them dye my hair. He had something against my natural colour as he pushed and pushed to convince me. No way Jose, that’s off limits.