Reward or Treat?

Some people reward themselves, others treat themselves for jobs well done, long day, 10km, doing that scary thing or goals meet.

I’ve always gone for treats. That’s how I was brought up. Rewards, my family doesn’t do. Your best was never good enough. If I got an A- it was always why didn’t you get an A or A+, if I got a B, why didn’t you… you get the picture. Advice was given on on why didn’t I draw the line like this, why did I smudge the drawing etc, always suggestions. I guess my parents thought it was the best way to get the dreamer out of her dreams. Drummed into me was work before play, which I’ll admit, cause even now internal conflictions. What is play and what is work? And lets not talk about the time I stayed with my parents a few years ago to find my Mum doing crossword puzzles when she said she was making the bed. I called her out right on the spot. Busted. Even now when she starts the whole work before play, I say, remember that time? Works like a charm!

Since leaving the UK, I’ve worked on and off part time. At the moment I’m looking for fitness clients (read no work). I’m sure if I was in an English speaking country, I would be up and running already. I feel that part time work gets looked down on. It’s not the the long, hours of full time work. You have the day to get everything else done. Then if you’re not working, what you say isn’t valid. You’re not earning money, you’re not contributing to society etc (I pay taxes, value added tax!). This is the impression I get and I can see on peoples faces. The same as being the petite girl with muscle. I see those looks. I feel those looks, those disapproving looks. You might feel conscious in the changing room, but how do you think I feel, feeling those thoughts you’re thinking. You don’t think I’m aware of my size and how it makes you feel. You know what, it doesn’t take much effort to make an effort to be the healthiest you. Just small changes. I’ll point out it’s only a few people but it’s enough to add sourness to your day. Judgement. Judgment on ourselves is the worst judgement. I always feel I have to be doing something productive to make up for the no pennies, so I’m not seen to be lazy. This means I don’t give myself much down time. I’m either running around or knocked out at the end of the day from running around all day. Which sets off the complex you didn’t do this as your were ‘napping’. Things we hold on to! It’s work in progress letting go.

Reward according to Google: a thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement. Treat according to Google (3rd definition): an event or item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure.

Wednesday the Apple health app on my iPhone said I’d ran and walked 22km. A half marathon. This included also cycling as I’ve yet to activate the cycle log. That morning, I’d cleaned the house, cleaned all the windows (1st of the year), 2 loads of laundry. In the afternoon a 9km wind tunnel run, 15km bike ride (transport), 30 min walk around the zoo for time out before it closed, 1.5 hours walking finding hairdressers to drop off business cards, odd grocery shopping on the way back to the bike. A full day and no wonder I was knackered in the evening. More than an half marathon I’d ran, cycled and walked. Passing a florist I realised I hadn’t brought any fresh flowers since France. Dropping off business cards for me takes some guts. It’s my business, I have to be confident, not meeky walking in when all eyes are on you. Normally I would have treated myself to those flowers. Not today, I rewarded myself for doing what needed to be done that day. This lady is making changes in progress. 

Do you reward or treat yourself? A treat I find become the norm if you have them too often. A reward is pride, it’s earned, it’s you. It’s making the changes, like waking up early to see the sunrise, go for that run, stepping outside your comfort zone.